you can't rap.
I can scrap.
[beep] [applause]
¶ ¶
¶ ¶.
black-saw jim duggan o
Of nowhere.
I bet bck-saw jim duggan
Wouldsay yo instead of ho.
oh, comeon.
There's nothing funny about
Racial humor.
Welcome to tosh
Tonight, cole haan lunar
Band chukkas.
They don't look sick enough
For you?
Why don't y tell t to
Me feet?
Ecausehey're ve
Comfortable.
Tonight on theshow, this
Prankster ge web
Redemption.
We have a frank discussion
Abou my body.
Now let's go back to th
Hood where ery y is like
Theource awards.
stop rht there.
Did you just run [beep] on
Ha-ha?
Solid contact twhchlt the
Guy is smacked in the head
With two-by-four doesn
Go down, you are in a [beep]
Load o troubl
[laught].
is this showtime in front
Of the apollo?
What do you think is poping
Out the ac unit now?
>>.
[laughter]
I ne a marineiologist to
Explain this next video to
Me.
Hope you like your c cm soup
Salty as [beep].
Who doe't have sustainless
Steam appliances?
Make it slurp up the wine
Sauce andnow we are
Talking.
This week thacl clip
Inspired two parodies, so we
Are going tohow you both
Of them andet you decide
Which one we should put on
The show.
hold the phone.
Where are my fresh clams?
you might have a shell
Fish allergy.
all right.
Soid contender, but here's
The other parody.
you feelnything y,
Kyle?
Enjoy the ride.
no!
[screamin].
that's a tough decision.
Text your decision for
Parody no. 1.
For no. 2, sxy picture of
Yourself, messaging rates do
Not apply.
All entries must be received
By 10:00 p.M.
Eastern standard time.
The moving on.
One day I'm going to be
Naked, I'm going to do a
Somersault while a bunch of
Cops taser my balls.
[screang]
stop fighting!
this guy is like a ninja,
Man.
soprobably that las
Part wille left out of the
Rert.
This should at leasget and
Espy.
He's already broken more
Tackles an chris johnson
Did lst year.
Let h go.
The new spiderman will catch
Him.
Nothing speaks bible camp
Likeccidentally losing
Yoyo oral virginity.
[screaming].
leapfrog doesn't count as
Fore py.
Say what you want, but this
[be] doesn't happen at
That camp.
Where is tir counselor?
Whistle].
all right, kids.
Knock off the horse play.
want to hear real ghost
Story?
I'm not even a counselor
Ere.
U know anything about
Base jumping,ou are going
Love this nt clip.
[audience gasps]
[laughter]
and that concludes the
Oment of silence fthis
Week's break down.
He probab just got the
Wind knocked out of him.
Yo never do jokes abo
Somebody dying.
It's disrespectful.
How would you like it if you
Di?
I'm g to clearhe air
Beforee go any further.
According to this newscast,
He's not dead
Just lowerably injured.
aase jmper staoifd his
Leap after h parachute
Didn't open.
he broke several bones,
But incredibly, he's made a
Full recovery.
good enough for m
Let's make fun of him.
Only russia coul stil be
This ugly and depressing
Undr a blanket of dead
Sno
Aead shouldbe and three
Smokestacks.
O up there I but you can
E sarah palin sitting
Around flicking her bean.
Come on.
Doing jokes abo sarah
Palin is never appropriate.
She has a special needs
Child.
[laughter]
Base jumpings
Commitng suicide with a
Backpack on.
I don't know if you' shake
From nerves or the voltage
From that electrical tower.
Let's go, one, two, two and
Three quarters, jump!
I think his chute shrunk.
That tiny parachute could
Bear slave a g.I.Joe.
That's why I launder mine on
Cold and line dry it.
At's a bigger flop than
The noen stiller movie.
Okay.
There's nothing funny about
Ben stiller.
I've seen safer landings in
A road runner cartoon.
No o diesn russia.
They're like vampires or
Hugh hefner.
I'm just glad he's still
Aliveiven the dog sled
Ambunces usually taketwo
Moons to arrive.
We will be right backit
The arm prank redemption,
But first, this is the best
Your lives are ever going to
Get
[laughter]
I always do and April
Fool burbank on my m.
This lette says I want to
Leave high school to join
The army.
I didn't think they were
Going to tell y this soon.
why?
this is thtruth.
It's the truth.
you're not going to
Clege?
no.
oh, n, brad.
Youe breaking my heart!
mom, m!
No!
Come here!
there's no web redempti
This week.
Instead, we are going to
Watch russell brand's new
Show.
I'm kidding.
You guys just got x'd.
Brad told his mom he's going
Into the army.
The last people soured on it
After we pulled the old you
Want a free trip onuxury
Uise liner gag, and just
Like that, April fools day
Was born.
The key to a good prank is
Keep it simple.
Download child porn on your
Boss's laptop.
My favorite celebrity
Prankster hato be tom
Cruise.
Rememberthe te he tripped
Th slouchy gl next door?
The best prankster of all
Time was jesus.
For over 2,000 ars he
Fooled millions to thinking
He had forgive en their
Since.
Sometimes emotional torture
Isthe best way to say
Love you.
Tt's w I b bought him to
Hollywood wre t cheapest
Tricks work on theorner of
Santa monica and las palmas.
either aby shows full
Bush or she's off the
Picture.
Sorry mr. Dreamworks.
How's it going, brad?
niceo meet you.
Big fan, love your video.
I d't know if you know
This, brad, but I'm a bit of
A prankster myself.
Watch this.
Can you come in here for a
Sond?
I forgot to tell y, at
Lunch your m called, and
Your dad passed away.
>>hat?
what did say abt
Showing emotion in th
Office.
That was a good one, right?
sure, but maybe u you
Shouldn't jokeabout peoples
Parents dying.
okay, that wasn't the
Joke.
Your dad is [beep] dead.
Whe are you from?
richmond, virginia.
how old is that video?
fr years.
Waste senior in high
School when I did it.
what do you think is me
Dangerous, going to war o
Virginia tech?
going war.
you uphe injure junk a
Lot.
What's that.
theirst time I sw the
Ideo I didn't kno
are you moving?
Are you adjusting?
What's happenng there?
sometis it's adjusting.
Sometimes with boxers it can
Get in the way.
You might have aive,
You know, member.
that's what I li to
Think.
I feel for you.
Just tell me why you did t
Video.
I always do and April
Fools prank on mom, and I
Knew she was gullible with a
Letter.
how man times have you
April fools pranked r?
a couple times.
>does your mom have and
Accent?
yeah, she's from
Australia.
she's sounds like
Mrs. Doubt fire.
How's it feel to see yur
Mother cry?
I don' know.
I didn't fe it was going
Too far until she headed
Into the garage.
woul't it be funny if
That w the last time you
Saw your mothe
What othpranks have you
Done?
where she got a letter
From school saying I was
Selling drugs.
Did the www.Craigslist.Org
Where I posted a bunch of
Stuff that was way too cheap,
And I put myfriends'
Numbers onthere, and they
Got calls throughout the
Day.
They got me back by putting
A sign on my car, I love big,
Black [beep].
did you give to it yr
Mo
if my mom did that, I
Would give her a high five.
That would be awesome.
what kind of underwear.
Boxers.
Never wear briefs.
wha about boxe briefs?
too tight.
ised to be boxers and I
Swihed to boxerriefs.
why is that?
maybe dwrav is catching
Up with me.
It's weird how your balls
Start hanging lower, but the
Same doesn't happe to your
Penis.
My balls are winning the
Race.
With those wandering hands
You're perfect for my hidden
Camera prank show.
It's called "junk".
Welme to junk.
I'm injure trendyost, and
This hilarious miss myer
Boy brad going to be a
Waiter.
Hope he washed his hands.
Because he's going to be
Touchi his balls.
Oh, m, why would you ev
Leave this job?
It's so easy.
You do that pieceof [be],
"t and a half men"?
Bad call.
All right.
Brad, the world wants to
Know.
Both your gonads for yes.
Was that a yes?
Okay, go.
Ask those lies if they
Want something sip on.
Remember, keep yourands on
Your jnk.
hey, ladies.
Do you want something to sip
On?
sure.
do you want to ororr now,
Or should I come bac
dwunt to orderow, or
Should I come back.
yes.
okay.
Justtay there.
[laughter]
are you touching
Yourself?
that's it.
You're on junk!
He's in it his camera is
Everhere.
That's not even a real
Order.
It's five pieces of spring
Mix.
What do you read on your
Kindle?
He doesn know, because
It's not his.
Go give them the bread.
Say I've got some bread for
You guys.
I got me bread for you
Guys.
prepare the bread for
Them, and put it on their
Plate.
what the hell?
Hey're not eating that.
you dumb big stupid ass.
You're on jk!
Quit touching your -- this
Guy is not real.
He'sand actor.
Th're all actors of the
Ththre a camera right here
In plain sight.
I can't believe you didn't
Notice this guy.
take away her chair.
Say she doesn't havenyone
In her life.
I'm taking this chair
Away bcause you d have
Anyby in your life.
why are you touching your
Paris-nice.
you're on my new show
Called junk.
okay, bring them another
Bottle of hot sauce, and say
Just in case.
ju in case.
say, which one of you is
A bigger tip center.
which one of you is the
Bigger tipper?
are you for real.
are you kidding?
I know who it is.
you know,, I really like
Your attitude.
I really like you grabbing
Your junk.
you're on junk, [beep]!
fro all of us at jk,
Peace out.
junk is all right, but
For my moneythe best prank
Show ever was, to catch a
Predator.
We' be right back, but
Irst our secity guar's
Black clip of e week.
[a
hi.
I'm rickie.
I'm auditioning for mar
Elena.
[laughter]
you were really good up
There.
I didn't mean that in a
Sexual way, but not that I
Wasn't erotic.
I am sombarrassed.
ly one w to fix that.
[laughte
the guy you feel
Earrassed for is bob kra,
And he is not her great,
Great,reat,
Great-grandfather.
He's the owner of the new
England portraits.
He was helping his friend
Audition because that's what
Ben has to do tet laid.
Soon't judge.
If creepy dudes di't help
Actresses get discovered
There wou be no blake
Lively.
Apparently bob's fli was
Going to go furtherthan I
Was to get the part.
hi.
I'm daniel tosh, an I'm
Auditioning for the role of
Robert kraft's friend.
[laughter]
wel, now we're even,
Because dancing in fnt of
You was one of the most
Embarrassing moments in my
Life.
really?
Worst than losg two super
Bowl's to peyton manning's
Kid brother?
oy one way to fix that.
careful, magic mik
What is tt the charleston?
You're getting all boned up.
Stop it.
Please, please stop.
I'll st if you let me
Buy you ank.
no, you'll stop because
It will take aandful of
Pills to get that ancient
Hog up.
All right.
Don't you ve a camera down
Whatever training camp
You're spying on this week.
you p -- pussy.
you have to swing harder
Than that snaos thanks to
Rober kraft a the eire
Portraits organization for
Making that possible.
Go our blog and upload a
Clip for a to ben our
Viewer video.
This one is from ricky lee.
hey!
What are you doing!
It's not delivery!
It's digiorno!
You can't deliver this!
It says so on the side of
The truck!
Hey, y're not ylow!
Youe orange!
You're a liar!
Hey!
Come back here!
You forgot something!
Yore doing it wrong!
You're supposed to have cars
There!
Hey!
ter two bombs, it likes
Like adam sandler is getting
Into t viral video game.
We will beight ba
bienvenue.
Tosh.0 maoe -- yesterday,
We redeemed a rock climb
Lower relet aurd out of
Is butt.
Never do a joke abougorp.
What if ur daughter was on
A trillion and ate gor
Follow me onwitter.
Keep up wth our blog, buy
Stuff at our store if you
Have a hankering from
Merchandise, and as you my
New show brickleberry
Premierepteer 25 the
Last week the foks a
Comic-con go a peek.
Here's whthey thought.
they're going to be put
Shame.
I love it was grounded in
Reality.
all right.
It's been 21 and a half
Minutes.
My work here is done.
Od night.
[applause]